Plan B is the new Plan A
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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