Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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