Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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