Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
They are going to name an STD after you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
