The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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