The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
