I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
