Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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