lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
