Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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