i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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