Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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