Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
