Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
