3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
