no, he came in my armpit
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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