Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
