we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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