what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
