my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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