hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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