they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
