went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
