You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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