I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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