hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
