So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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