I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize