mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
