sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize