i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
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I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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