Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
