its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck