Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist