Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
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We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.