I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong