I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
