It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
