I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
