She said her name was "party"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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