Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
