She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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