woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
