I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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