Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
