you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
