We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
