You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
