I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize