A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is