can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?