So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
