I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
