It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
