Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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