it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
