Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
