He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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