Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
