We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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