Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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