shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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