Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
