I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
