We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
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Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
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They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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