Where did you get a picture of my penis
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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