am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize