If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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