Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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